NAVIGATING THE SEASONS OF MANHOOD

Read time: 5 mins / Author: Paul Records

If we were to place the life of any man under the microscope and analyze his development into manhood, we would see him transition through several different seasons. Some of these seasons are defined by what he gains, others by what he loses. Some of the more significant seasons may center around his education, his career choices, his marriage, his children, or his ministry.

In each unique season, a man must change, adapt, and grow.

I think all of us, at one time or another, have felt stuck in a particular season or situation. Perhaps after the death of a loved one, a hard failure, disappointment, job loss, etc. A man may even get stuck in unhealthy behavioral cycles.

How do we know if a man is stuck? A man is stuck when he finds himself faced with a wall that he does not know how to get over. Some men get to a place where they feel so overwhelmed or discouraged that they lose their will to fight or see no reason to fight at all. This is what I call a state of emotional drift. You can often recognize “the drift” of his emotions in his words, conversations, or overall attitude (cynicism, criticism, self-doubt, etc.).

In certain seasons, the purpose of a man is clear. In other seasons, he may feel lost or stranded. In certain seasons, he pushes ahead. In others, the pace of life slows. At times, life may even seem to stop. After completing the tasks associated with one chapter, he progresses and then must take on larger, more complex challenges.

As his business, his family, his ministry, his bank account, his reputation, and his circle of influence grow, he must learn new skills and apply himself in new ways. If he falls, he must get up and step back into the fight. He must remember that, through it all, God promises to walk with him from one season to the next. As Jesus told his disciples, "And lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age" (Matthew 28:20).

If you feel stuck and are struggling to navigate this current season of your life, I encourage you to complete the following three challenges:

Challenge #1: Assess and recalibrate
Challenge #2: Confess and release
Challenge #3: Remember and recover

Let’s take a closer look at these three challenges.

ASSESS AND RECALIBRATE

In each new season, a man must assess and ask strategic questions such as:

Is what I am doing working or not working?
Where is the tension or pressure coming from?
What have I achieved?
What difficult tasks am I avoiding?
What remains unfinished?
What choices have created the current condition of my life?
What am I most proud of, and what do I regret?

With questions like these, a man assesses the state of his life.

If a man never stops to think about where he has been, where he is now, or where he is going, he will always feel like life is passing him by. At certain moments, he must stop to assess the overall direction of his life.

Assess (v.) To evaluate or estimate the nature, ability, or quality of.

What got us here may not get us there. We must shift our thinking and take on new, fresh perspectives. We must broaden the scope of our learning and increase the level of our discipline. At times, we may even have to unlearn some things. We must adjust and realign ourselves to a renewed sense of vision.

Recalibrate (v.) To calibrate (something) again or differently; to change the way you do or think about something.

CONFESS AND RELEASE

In seasons of hurt, pain, or adversity, we must learn to confess and release. In the company of trusted friends, we must admit what makes us bitter or angry.

Confess (v.) To admit or state the truth of one’s actions, conduct, or feelings.

We must have positive outlets in which to express our feelings and to ask hard questions. In prayer, we must confess our sins, our mistakes, and our weaknesses. With the help of God, we must release our offenses and let go of words spoken or actions that have afflicted us. When we are tempted to hold tightly to the past, we must open our hands and our hearts and lay it down on an altar of surrender.

Release (v.) To allow or enable to escape from confinement; set free; allow (something) to move, act, or flow freely; remove (part of a machine or appliance) from a fixed position, allowing something else to move or function.

REMEMBER AND RECOVER

In difficult seasons, we must remember that God has always been good to us, even when we did not understand His ways. When our lives feel like they're going downhill, we must look up and remember that God has never left us or forsaken us.

Remember (v.) To have in or be able to bring to one's mind an awareness of (someone or something that one has seen, known, or experienced in the past).

As the Psalmist wrote,

And I said, “This is my anguish; but I will remember the years of the right hand of the Most High.” I will remember the works of the Lord; surely I will remember Your wonders of old. I will also meditate on all Your work, and talk of Your deeds. Psalm 77:10-12.

We must have the confidence that God will get us through in one way or another. As we trust in Him, we must believe that we can recover whatever has been lost. We are never too far gone when God is involved.

Recover (v.) To return to a normal state of health, mind, or strength; to find or regain possession of (something stolen or lost).

GETTING UNSTUCK

There was a moment in the life of David when he and his soldiers returned to the city of Ziklag. This was the city in which their wives, children, and livestock lived while they were engaged in far-off battles. On this occasion, when they returned, they found the city of Ziklag in ruins. Their wives, children, and their riches had been stolen by an enemy nation, and the city was burned to the ground:

So David and his men came to the city, and there it was, burned with fire; and their wives, their sons, and their daughters had been taken captive. Then David and the people who were with him lifted up their voices and wept, until they had no more power to weep. 1 Samuel 30:3-4.

The grief that David and his men felt had many layers. While they were away fighting a noble battle, their enemy came and ripped everything of value out of their hands. Not only that, but the entire city had been ravaged by fire. There was absolutely nothing left. In this moment, David's men became incensed. In their emotion, they even spoke of stoning David.

This is what it feels like to get stuck in a hard situation. This is what it feels like to be faced with a wall that initially feels too hard to climb. Even though David was tempted to drift emotionally, however, he quickly recalibrated himself in a quiet moment of prayer with God.

Feeling the pressure to act, David stepped away and "inquired of the Lord" (1 Samuel 30:8). In doing so, he confessed his need of God and asked for divine direction.

In this moment of humble prayer, God spoke to David's heart and said, "Pursue, for you shall surely overtake them and without fail recover all” (1 Samuel 30:8).

The Word of the Lord in this season of David's life was not to quit or to give up. It was not God's will that David or his men throw away their potential in one moment of adversity.

This season would not define them. As men, it was up to them to fight for and to recover what had been lost. As they sharpened their swords, rallied their troops, and saddled their horses, they were determined to do whatever was necessary to preserve their homes and houses.

God's Word to the men was to pursue their wives and children and to fight for their circle of influence.

David took six hundred of his men, and they rode furiously to the point that two hundred of them nearly collapsed. After marching and riding through the night, they gained ground on the enemy force.

Then David attacked them from twilight until the evening of the next day. 1 Samuel 30:17.

After nearly two whole days of intense battle, "David recovered all that the Amalekites had carried away" (1 Samuel 30:18). In the end, his legacy was preserved. In time, he would become king. This is the will of God for each of us. We must fight to preserve what we have been given, and we must make full proof of our ministries.

As we age and transition through life, we must assess and recalibrate, confess and release, remember and recover. In every season, we must make it our aim to finish strong and to endure to the very end. God intends to finish the work that He began in us. As Hebrews 12:2 declares, He is the author and finisher of our faith. As the apostle Paul admonished, "Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may obtain it" (1 Corinthians 9:24).

FOR PERSONAL REFLECTION

In this current season of your life, which of the three challenges are most relevant to you?
Have you ever felt stuck in a hard season? What did you do to improve the situation?
Describe something new that God may be teaching you in this season of your life. Is there a man in your circle of influence that can benefit from what you are learning?