How to Build Character
This is the second in a four article series that analyzes character and how men today can build lives of character in a world gone wild.
To read part one, “The Power and Presence of Character,” click HERE.
Read time: 6 mins / Author: Paul Records
To gain a clear picture of what a man’s life may look like without character, we can read and consider Titus 3:3:
For we too once were foolish, disobedient, deceived, enslaved to various sinful desires and pleasures, spending and wasting our life. (AMP)
Another translation of the Bible phrases a portion of this verse in this way:
We were easily led astray as slaves to worldly passions and pleasures. We wasted our lives… (TPT).
For illustration, imagine that this verse describes a particular man alive today. Let’s imagine that this man is a business executive feeling the pressure of a high-level client relationship. The client is making the life of the executive difficult. They have asked him to bend the rules on their account to bypass new industry regulations. Due to a rapid turn in the economy, the executive’s company is in dire need of this client’s business. Without the account, the executive may be forced to initiate company-wide layoffs. In this scenario, how do you suppose the executive may conduct business if he is “easily led astray”?
Or, we can shift the context of the story and imagine that the man is a father and stays up late each night after his family goes to bed and spends long periods of time online or using various streaming apps. Or, perhaps the man is married and recently received a private message from an old girlfriend. Or maybe his work colleagues have invited him to get drinks after work, but he is hesitant because he is only three months sober.
If he is a man who is “foolish, disobedient, and enslaved to sinful desires and pleasures,” he doesn’t have a chance. In each case above, if the temptation is compelling or consistent enough, we expect the man to fall. Without a commitment to godly character and an adequate support system built into his life, there will be little to help him rise above temptation or moral pressures. In this sense, we see that character can serve as guardrails that keep a godly life on track. Without character, it’s easy for a man to veer in his integrity, moral discipline, or personal leadership. As Robert Caslen and Michael Matthews write in The Character Edge,
“Your talent can take you a long way in life, but talent alone is not sufficient to perform at your peak. Talent in the absence of integrity, grit, self-regulation, kindness, and a host of other character strengths is simply not enough to allow you to excel and flourish at the highest levels . . . Individuals and organizations may cheat and so attain a short-term victory. But these short-term wins are at the expense of long-term success . . . We argue that it is better to take a short-term loss or setback than to win at all costs and, in doing so, compromise one’s character or the reputation of the organization.” (1)
This leads us to consider how exactly a man builds a life of character. In this article, we present the first of four practical ways to show our commitment to godly character.
#1 – TO BUILD A LIFE OF CHARACTER, A MAN MUST GET CLEAR ABOUT HIS VALUES AND ESTABLISH A SERIES OF PERSONAL CONVICTIONS.
In this context, a conviction represents “a firmly held manner of conduct.” A man’s convictions may also represent his commitment to a specific type or level of spiritual discipline. This code of conduct is designed to help a man overcome the negative power of his passions and emotions. Without convictions, we are driven by the downward pull of our flesh.
On a certain level, our convictions may represent the things we chose not to do so that we can maintain a high level of Christian character.
Throughout any given day, our flesh will pull us in the direction of our impulses. Throughout any given work week, we are tempted to lie, satisfy unhealthy cravings, and lay aside our spiritual disciplines in several different ways. As Pastor Scott Jones has said, “Satan always talks to us where our passions are the strongest and our principles are the weakest.” When we have established a series of personal convictions, however, they serve as the framework that enables us to maintain our character.
Your convictions also represent the kind of life you need to live to fulfill your purpose and stay on track with your God-given calling. Life always places competing tugs on our hearts, and when we’re pulled in two different directions, we must remember to align ourselves with our purpose. When high-stakes decisions must be made, when we decide what to do with our discretionary time, or when we are faced with temptations from our past, we must make choices that align with God’s plan for our lives.
In October of 1948, Billy Graham found himself at a critical juncture. He had come to Modesto, CA, for a two-week evangelistic crusade. By this point in his life, Graham had watched several popular Christian leaders end up in news headlines for the wrong reasons. To compound the media firestorm, satirist author Sinclair Lewis had written a novel that followed the exploits of a narcissistic, womanizing evangelist. The book was a sensation and topped several bestseller lists.
As Graham looked to the future, he and his ministry team wondered how they could rise above the moral and ethical impropriety that defined many others in their generation. As David Mathis writes,
“He had been working as an evangelist for a large and long-established ministry called Youth for Christ. Now, he was beginning to launch out on his own, to begin a new work as an independent evangelist, and he and his team felt the weight of the public scrutiny they’d be under. And they longed not to become, or even appear to be, what characterized some evangelists in the first half of the twentieth century. They heard their share of stories, and personally knew evangelists whose “success” became devastating. Such men slid from one small degree of compromise to the next in their desires for money, power, and illicit sex, all under the cloak of Christian ministry and seeming fruitfulness.” (2)
At this point, Graham and his team established four resolutions that they referred to as The Modesto Manifesto. Together, they resolved to uphold the highest standard of Biblical morality and integrity.
Resolution 1: Downplay public offerings
Rather than “wring as much money as possible out of an audience,” Graham and his team endeavored to depend as much as possible on money raised by local committees in advance. At that time, traveling evangelists had little financial accountability, and like several televangelists do today, they pushed their audiences to give without limit. On the other hand, Billy Graham worked to downplay the offering in public events and steer clear of financial abuses.
Resolution 2: Uphold a moral reputation
Given their constant travel and being so regularly away from home, Graham and his team took particular precautions against sexual sin. As Graham writes in his autobiography Just as I Am,
“We all knew of evangelists who had fallen into immorality while separated from their families by travel. We pledged among ourselves to avoid any situation that would have even the appearance of compromise or suspicion. From that day on, I did not travel, meet, or eat alone with a woman other than my wife.” (3)
In time, this resolution came to be known by many as “The Billy Graham Rule.”
Resolution 3: Commend, rather than criticize, church leaders
While Graham traveled the U.S., there was an apparent practice of certain evangelists to sway crowds away from their local congregations. In contrast, they determined not to talk down to other churches or pastors in their public meetings.
Resolution 4: Truth in advertising
Graham and friends renounced “the tendency among some evangelists . . . to exaggerate their successes or to claim higher attendance numbers than they really had.” He writes that “we committed ourselves to integrity in our publicity and our reporting.” As David Mathis notes,
“Deception and exaggeration, however seemingly good the intended end, poison the work. Graham and his team saw it then, before fame had clouded their vision, and they resolved to be honest and accurate.” (4)
Although these resolutions may not be relevant or applicable to your line of work, they represent what it looks like for men to assess the landscape of their lives and establish a series of personal convictions. They did not force these convictions on others and did not use them as evidence of their religious piety. Instead, they forced these convictions upon themselves and used them to govern their conduct as men. Their motive was not to make their lives of public ministry cumbersome. Their motive was to keep their lives of public ministry above reproach.
The goal is not to make a long list of rules or guidelines that you will never be able to practically uphold on a daily level. The goal is not to show people how spiritual you are. The goal of personal convictions is for the long-term preservation and benefit of your character. Is this not what King David wrote about in Psalm 101:2-4?
I will behave wisely in a perfect way. Oh, when will You come to me? I will walk within my house with a perfect heart. I will set nothing wicked before my eyes;
I hate the work of those who fall away; It shall not cling to me. A perverse heart shall depart from me; I will not know wickedness.
GETTING TACTICAL
The power of establishing a set of convictions is the influence they can have on your conduct and decisions in times of stress, adversity, and also personal success. Essentially, your personal convictions reflect your personal values - and your values help you to live and lead according to your principles. Men who lack character, however, often have no convictions or personal values and thus live unprincipled lives. In contrast, men who take time to cultivate, consider, and ultimately practice the right values will, in all situations, preserve their character. As Caslen and Matthews note,
“Living honorably is to have these values become part of our essence, so that if we are faced with a compromising situation, we do not have to think about what is right or wrong - our natural reaction is the manifestation of these internalized principles . . . In the myriad of unexpected situations confronting us daily, we find ourselves instinctively reacting. Our actions are the true manifestation of the values we have internalized. If we actively and consistently develop our character over time, our actions in all situations will be consistent with the values of our character.” (5)
Let’s think back to the men we discussed at the beginning of this article. The examples we discussed were:
A business executive faced with a difficult decision concerning an unprincipled client.
A father who stays up alone and spends long periods of time online.
A husband tempted by a previous love affair.
An ex-alcoholic fighting to stay sober.
Thus far, we have presented each case as if each man was unprincipled and “easily led astray.” Now, let’s flip the script and consider how each story would play out if each man lived with godly character. If each man had established a set of personal convictions and thus live according to good values and noble principles, how would he act or respond in these situations? If you were placed in each scenario above, what would you do to uphold your character and calling as a man? What would you say? How would you act? How would you govern or manage yourself?
As a man, do you have personal convictions? If so, can you easily articulate them? Have you written them down? Are they practical and relevant to your life or leadership context? If you do not live by a set of personal convictions, I challenge you to start now.
Think about the areas in which you feel the downward pull of your impulses.
In what areas in the past have you experienced a lapse of character?
Spend time in prayer and ask God to help you to identify convictions that will uphold your purpose and calling as a man.
After you have taken ample time to brainstorm, write down the convictions you have developed.
Post your convictions in a visible place and re-read them regularly until they are memorized.
Throughout this process, think about ways to uphold your character in the context of your work (career), home (family), and personal life (internal health). Lastly, discuss your convictions with a friend and ask them to keep you accountable and help you to uphold your convictions in public and private settings.
“Every little action of the common day makes or unmakes character, and therefore what one has done in the secret chamber one has some day to cry aloud from the house-top.” –Oscar Wilde
References
(1) The Character Edge: Leading and winning with integrity by Lt. General Robert L. Caslen and Dr. Michael Williams (St. Martins Press, 2022) pg xxix.
(2) Other Billy Graham ‘Rules’? by David Mathis. August 19, 2022 (desiringgod.org)
(3) Just as I Am by Billy Graham (HarperCollins Publishers, 2018) pg 128.
(4) Other Billy Graham ‘Rules’? by David Mathis. August 19, 2022 (desiringgod.org)
(5) The Character Edge: Leading and winning with integrity by Lt. General Robert L. Caslen and Dr. Michael Williams (St. Martins Press, 2022) pg 9-10.
